how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
