There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
