i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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