I showed him my bush... on skype.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
