"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
