if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Drunk is not a location!
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
