So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
