Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
