so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
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