a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
nutella sex= disaster
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
