I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize