Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
