her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
i think i just lost a toe
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
