dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Randomize
