You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
