You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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