Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
tell me about the eggs
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
