Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
