Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
