Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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