I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I DEMAND FORESKIN
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
