Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
