So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
