So drunk its hurt
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
