She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
