i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
