Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
