the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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