Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize
