hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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