I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
