I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize