giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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