Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
