are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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