david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
