these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Is Oprah even human
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
