my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
It's Friday. Sex?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize