her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
