Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
