Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
