So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I need water and some morals
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
