My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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