I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
