so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
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