He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
