We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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