My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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