Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
