Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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