I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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