i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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