He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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