i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
