I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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