Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
