And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
