I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
