just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Actions speak louder than pants.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize
