I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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