At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Randomize