Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize