Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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